I'm in Kingdom Hearts!
by Neo the Dual Keyblade Wielder
Summary: Just pure ass Crack! Well, Somehow I got in this world, So I'm making the most of it! It's Nekuyara Time, Bitches! MULTIPLE PAIRINGS, Some will be Crack pairings, some humorous bashing, sexual harassment, blah, blah, blah! Rating may go up!
1. Chapter 1

New World(I'm in KINGDOM HEARTS!?)

Neo: I'm making this fic! I'm going to do it and this is crack AND yaoi.

 **Disclaimer: I don't own!**

 **Chapter 1 I'm actually in Kingdom Hearts! Straight to Traverse Town!**

My name is Neo. I used to just be a normal, yaoi loving KH fan. But one day, during a fucking POWER OUTAGE, while I was Playing my fave game KH 1.5 Final mix. AND right when I was admiring Leon's muscle-I mean Tifa's boobs...Yeah. Suddenly, lightning hit my house, through my window, onto my PS3!

LIKE WHAT?!

What accuracy!

But anyways, I was knocked unconscious by the knock back.

"GAAH!" I had yelled when I hit my head against the wall of my room. All I remember feeling was my Playstation 3 controller that was connected to my PS3.

XxXxXx

"Hey! Are you okay?!" A high pitched male voice had said.

I slowly regain consciousness, feeling hard ground under my face, I felt as if I had been hit by giant boulder then tossed off of a mountain. "Ow, my head." I groan and opened my eyes...Huh. That's funny, the ground sorta looks like the ground from Traverse Town. I turned my head and see Sora...

Oh Fuck...

"Who are you? Um, are you alright?" The spiky haired brunette asked.

"Gawrsh, Is he okay?" Oh, I'm in Kingdom Hearts! Fan fucking tastic! Welp, Might as well join them so I can molest Cloud's sexy ass Hashtag totally heterosexual

"Um, I'm Neo Nekuyara. I'm a Keyblade wielder." I say smiling as I notice I'm in my KH Oc's clothing. You know shorts, a zip up red jacket, some boots, wrist bands, and my POL necklace. Word!

"Yeah, I'm okay Goofy." I said nonchalantly.

"QUACK! How'd you know his name?!" Donald asked being annoying as ever, well he did help me beat Demyx's stupid ass water clones in KH with Explosion Limit break.

"None of your beeswax how I know." I said arrogantly as stared down at the magician who shot me an angry glare.

"Anyway, Sora I'll be occupying your adventures, starting now!" I said friendly to the spiky haired brunette.

He's SO Leon and Cloud's love child! He has to be!

"Hey! A new visitor!" I Knew that voice. Yuffie Kisaragi! That means Leon with her as well.

I sped towards Yuffie and glomped her squealing, leaving her confused and then I saw the Lion meat!

I smirked like a wolf at the scarred brunette. He instantly shivered as I sauntered over to him like he was antelope and _I_ was the Lion.

"So, are _**you**_ Leon Leonhart?" I asked innocently.

"Who the hell are you, kid?" Leon questioned me and I smirked.

"Someone who knows about your real sexuality and that you couldn't save your love from his darkness..." I whispered sadistically in his ear and I knew he was shivering. Next thing I knew was that he had me up against the wall with an angry expression leaving everyone shocked. Except for me~!

"I'll be seeing him in a different world, when you get the balls to go find him yourself hit me up, okay kitty kat~?" I teased as I easily threw him off of me with ease. "Oh! And think about lifting weights or you might be out muscled!" I said as I left with a hesitant Sora.

Unbeknownst to me, Leon looked at his muscle and groaned sadly.

"And cut your hair, You look like a pretty boy." I said laughing.

XxXxXx

I showed off my skills in Deep Jungle, leaving Sora shocked. I had my flute, my keydaggers, my advanced aerobatics, yada yada yada! I'm too OP! Which is why I want to fight Cloud.

As soon as Went to Olympus Coliseum, I cheered. "FUCKING FINALLY! Sexy blondie time!"

"What are you talking about?" Sora asked confused at my outburst.

"Your mom."

"Wha?!"

Later, after the whole argument with the worthless Dog and Duck, I was walking towards the underworld portal that was closed and saw Hades stalking Sora, Donald, and Goofy. What an idiot...

"Hello."

"Gah! Whoa whoa whoa! Who the heck are you?!" The 'great underworld god' had asked me.

"Neo Nekuyara." I had to fight the urge to not say the "Prince of Light" to the god. I don't want to be too arrogant, and besides this isn't my fanfic on so...

"Well uh...are you new to this world?" Hades began to smirk leaving me confused for a minute, why the fuck was he looking at me like tha-Oh!

It came back to me. This is how he got Cloud to join his side, he's trying to see if I want darkness powers and try to bind me in goddamn contract doesn't he? I quickly rolled my eyes and put five fingers to that blue skinned douche bag with a the voice of James Woods face.

"Not interested." I quickly recited Cloud's catchphrase to the God.

I quickly did some ninja hand signs and disappeared in a cloud of cherry blossoms to Sora...Accidentally, I was kind of new at doing these powers for real, so I was kinda...in the air...and I don't get my Angel Wings until KH2...UH-OH!

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!" I screamed as I landed head first on Donald. Thank god he cushioned my fall.

Meanwhile, Sora was busy trying to move a boulder trying to get a ticket to enter the tournament...Classic Sora. After numerous failed attempts, guess who decided to show up again?

"I can't believe he turned down a promising warrior such as yourself." Hades said pretending to care. I cannot how much ass this dude could try to kiss, until now.

"This mother fucka again..." I muttered under my own breath. Sora had turned to me confused.

"Um Neo, is something wrong?" He asked with those big adorable blue eyes. So cute!

I quickly shake away that thought as I just shook my head.

I have to stay on track of this story of Kingdom Hearts...AH FUCK IT! I'm going balls to wall!

Next Chapter: "Sephiroth" Complex

Neo: Yup! This is happening just for the luls!


	2. Chapter 2

Sephiroth Complex

Neo: I now have a partner in crime(Unofficially, I kinda drugged her...Anyway, here she is) Jokul Frosti!

Animesaki: Why am I here?!

Neo: Oh Saki, you signed a contract*Held up contract*

Animesaki: Fine! When I'm untied you're dead!

 **Disclaimer: Don't own. Still want that Leon Leonhart body pillow!**

"Hmm?" I had hummed in boredom wanting a partner in my Kingdom Hearts crimes...So I pulled someone from the real world into the game with me!

"WAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!" The new person had screamed as they were pulled from their PS2 into the magical Olympus Coliseum of Kingdom Hearts. This new person just so happened to be a girl, not just any girl though, it was my friend Saki. She's known as Animesaki on the Fanfictions website. HARDCORE Soriku, not to mention she might have a tiny...MAJOR crush on Riku...

"Ow! What the-AM I IN KINGDOM HEARTS!? NEO?! DID YOU DO THIS!?" The blue haired girl had started yelling at me in anger. I might have not thought this through.

"I can't believe you did this Neo?! I was admiring Riku's bod-I mean playing Kingdom Hearts 2!" Saki had yelled at me with her Gunblade ready to chop my balls off. Did I forget to mention that she's a badass Gunblade user. Leon ain't got shit on Saki's skills. But he still a hottie.

I turned around and noticed Sora was just awkwardly staring at us...and opened his mouth asking a stupid ass question.

"Is this your girlfriend?"

I almost fell back with disgust.

"Her? My girlfriend?! Please Sora, I could do so much better than her!" I said not knowing the death flag I set upon myself.

But before I could be killed...our attention was turned to a certain spiky haired blonde warrior walking out of the coliseum like a bad ass hottie!

"It's Cloud!" Saki and I both exclaimed like the fans we were.

Obviously, the blondie didn't pay us any mind. Big mistake...

"Hey look! SEPHIROTH!"

Cloud immediately turned around and looked around for you know who. I then fall on my back laughing my ass off.

Immediately, Cloud was glaring at me and before I knew it, I was staring him face to face.

"How. The hell. Do you. Know. Sephiroth." He practically growled at me. Geez, someone must be having their period or something. That's when it came back to me! I forgot this Cloud is kind of an uptight jackass asshole.

"You'll find out when we fight in the arena...Barbie." After the last word of my sentence, I easily dodged Cloud's Buster Sword That had tried to decapitate my head from my neck.

Frickin' try hard.

"Missed me!~" I teased as he growled before walking away.

"You do know he might kill you, right?" Saki said not amused by my antics.

"Yep!" I replied in my constant happy mood.

xoxoxox

I actually left the tournament to get some more potions from the moogle store. I loved these white things.

When I get back, I see that Sora's about to be killed by Cloud. Not on my watch, girly boy!

"HOLD UP!" I say blocking Cloud's blade with my Key daggers. "Who the FUCK said you can go kill my friends you stupid blonde bitch!"

Cloud just looked at me with annoyance and pushed me back with his sword. I jumped back from the force and I'm going to tell you, I was really pissed off at Cloud. First off, who the hell tries to hurt a kid?! I had had it with this blondie's bull shit. I started to do hand signs and my body suddenly began to emit a pink aura.

"Let me show you what true hell is like," I said with a growl in my voice as I suddenly disappeared from Cloud's vision. He seemed confused and didn't sense that I appeared behind him and kicked him in the back of his head. That got a reaction out of him.

Cloud swiftly swung his sword down at me only for cherry blossoms to be left in his wake. The blond soon realized I was standing on his sword.

"My, my, that's a nice big sword you have." I immediately just realized what I said. "EW! That sounded like an innuendo!" I was so caught up in my own teasing that I almost didn't realize that he threw off my balance and swung at me. I dodged it with no problem, but my hair suffered the consequences.

"My hair!" I looked the clumps of hair that Cloud cut off and was trembling. The last thing I remember is looking at Cloud like a vicious animal...

"That's what happens when you mess with the hair!" I said to the beaten up Cloud on the ground, who was struggling to stand.

Suddenly, Cloud was under a big dog foot. OH SHIT!

To be continued...

Neo: Horrible ending and Cliffhanger I know!

Jokul: Why did you kidnap me!?

Neo: Um reasons?

Jokul: *Holds gunblade against my throat*

Neo: Read and review and help me!


	3. Chapter 3

I'm in Kingdom Hearts Chapter 3

Neo: We're back!

* * *

"TAKE THAT! AND THAT!" Yuffie, the sexy ninja said as she destroyed heartless. She was so sexy...I mean strong, independent woman who probably doesn't need a man.

Leon was looking hot as ever! Those muscles, that face, that ass(A/N: Ahem!)!

Anyway, After clearing through the heartless in the third district, I sensed something off. Sora seemed to notice and asked.

"What is it?" The spiky haired brunette asked in his adorable pre-pubescent high pitch voice. It really surprised that he sounded like that in this game, because the first game I played was KHII, so I was not prepared-

"Um, hello? Earth to Neo." Saki waved her hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. She's still really agitated with me...You could say that I'm walking on eggshells with our friendship.

"Oh, nothing Sora."

Saki just shook her head before her whole body went still and her eyes turned white. It creeped me out for a second, but I remembered that Saki has the power of foresight. Saki had awakened from her trance, suddenly tackling me down to the ground.

"What was that for?!" I asked before I saw that the damn BIG PILE OF BOLTS HEARTLESS had come back! This is just like when we fought FRICKEN Cerberus...Which we destroyed by the way. Hercules didn't do shit!(well, after we frickin molested Cloud of course)

Well Cyberdyne attacked with no remorse basically pissed that I kicked it in the metal dick.

Of course, I am a prince after all and I must administer more punishment on this stupid piece of shit Heartless!

BOOOOOOOM!

"Well, that was easy. His second form was as bad as Teen Titans Go!" I said shrugging my shoulder and Saki laughed at my joke.

"Yeah, that show is horrible!"

"What are you two talking about?" Leon asked very confused at what I was saying. I just smirked and walked away from, but not before swatting his ass. I'm sorry, but you don't wear tight ass leather and NOT expect to be molested, okay?

"HEY!" Leon growled at me in that deep, threatening voice of his. God, I can't wait to be in KH2...David Erholtz's voice is like a wet dream to any fangirl or boy. I couldn't help but drool remembering hearing him talk in Dissidia.

"Um...Excuse me, Saki is it? Why is Neo drooling?" Sora asked confused at my pleasure filled face from an eargasm. Saki had simply patted the boy's shoulder.

"When you're older Sora. When you're older."

* * *

Neo: Short. Yes. Lazy, yes. Will there be more, Of course.


End file.
